RECENT POSTS

Growing Pains. (Blog Post)

People say being trans is like going through a second puberty, which I think is entirely true without a shadow of a doubt since the sweeping emotions knock me off my feet and I feel like there’s a thunderstorm in my head just like I did in middle school. Your body changes, your brain chemistry changes, your mood shifts like a metronome in a jazz song, you feel excited and terrified and terrified and terrified and directionless and hopeless and driven and optimistic and terrified. Maybe that is more unique to my experience than I’d like to admit, and maybe I would like to admit that so very much because it sets me apart as an especially damaged creature among the broken dolls.

Death to 2020. (blog post)

Halfway through this year, I started writing out this post, all the way back in June I was thinking about how I felt about this year, and everything that had happened up until that point. Since that point so much more has happened I feel like another whole year has passed, and yet it still feels like no time at all. Halloween came and went, Thanksgiving passed like a ship in the night, and to be honest despite it being December 30th at the time of writing, I still feel like I’m waiting for Christmas. 2020 for all its downs and further downs has been a year like no other, and for better or worse the world is a different place now than it was back in January, in dramatic fashion. For better or for worse, I am a different person than I was back in January.

Paralyzer. (Blog Post)

I have a very specific memory for the strangest and most irrelevant things. I can still remember almost the entirety of Click, written and directed by Adam Sandler (Of Uncut Gems fame) and I can play out the entire film almost shot for shot in my head. I can also remember almost every StateFarm commercial ever made, and make references to the bulldog from that CapIt commercial where they’re refinishing the bed of a truck. One of these incredibly specific memories is the first time I watched the music video to Finger Eleven’s song Paralyzer on MTV when I was 10 years old.