Island Living
I’ve been thinking about animal crossing.
What Kind of person can just leave everything behind?
It is a strange feeling, to be needed. I came here because I wanted to disappear, and in truth, no one would really notice my leaving anyway so why the hell not? I packed my bags while my roommates were out for the day, one was working and one was meeting a date across town. It’s surprising how little you really need to leave your life behind, a few changes of clothes, an extra pair of shoes, a book or two to read on the plane. Didn’t bother to take my phone since no one was going to call me, at least that I wanted to talk to, I hadn’t used the thing in weeks anyways except to check twitter and scroll coldly through the news. By 3 pm I was walking off the bus to the bank to withdraw every penny I had, not a lot, but it got me a meal and enough for a one-way ticket somewhere else. I hopped back on the bus and rode the express line to the airport with my one carry-on back and a backpack. My hand instinctively went to my pocket to check if anyone had called after they noticed I’d left and a well opened in my chest. I made the trip in silence, listening to a young couple talk about their planned tropical vacation. At some point the steady hum of the engine got my thoughts to wander and before I knew it the bus pulled up at departures. I stepped off the bus and through the doors to speak to the attendant at the counter.
“Hey! My name’s Tommy, this is my brother Timmy” I heard a voice call out from off to the side. Looking over I saw before the actual check-in line there was a weird pop-up counter being manned by two boys who couldn’t be older than 19. The attendant who spoke seemed to be pleasant, his smile was wide and welcoming, he was small, shaggy brown hair, island print button-up that reminded me of that couple from the bus. He seemed far too happy to work in an airport. His brother seemed to repeat what Tommy said in a softer voice, he looked pleasant but felt like a shadow, he looked nervous and uncomfortable with so many people around. The two must be twins, the only distinguishing feature between the two was their height, Timmy being slightly taller and Tommy seemed to keep his eyes down while his brother made direct eye contact. I dropped my gaze.
“We’re offering a one-time special promotion today, our uncle Tom is marketing the Nook Deserted Island Getaway package and we have one more seat on the plane” Timmy beamed at me. Somewhere in my head I recognized the name Tom Nook, he was some real-estate magnate, amassed crazy money a few years back then kinda disappeared. Set up a campground or something a while back? I couldn’t quite remember. Whatever this was it wasn’t in my price range. I shook my head.
“Sorry, Tommy. I don’t think I have the money for something like that but I hope you find someone to fill that seat, it sounds like a great opportunity.” I sighed and shifted the strap on my bag, ambling off deeper into the airport. My thoughts flashed to the couple in the bus but I was the one wearing the Hawaiian shirt talking about pina coladas and margheritas on the beach. I imagined myself smiling. It was weird to see.
“Sir, we never told you the price!” Tommy called after me, echoed quietly by his brother. I waved back and shrugged.
“It’s free.” I stopped dead in my tracks and stood still for several seconds before dropping my bag and bursting out laughing. A young couple steered their kid away from me as my bags dropped to the floor with a soft thump and jingle of loose change. Turning back around I expected to see the brothers laughing along with their joke, but there was no mirth on their face. Timmy just wore a patient smile as he waited for me to calm down, and Tommy looked almost frustrated that I wasn’t taking them seriously. As my brief outburst calmed down I found myself walking back to the counter, despite the ridiculous nature of his remark. I stepped back to the counter, sliding my bag into the wood paneling with my foot. The brothers waited patiently for me to stop chuckling to myself as I began to look more seriously at the brochure on the table.
“You’re serious” Timmy nodded brightly. I wasn’t laughing anymore, the brochure seemed to legitimate and backed up their zero cost claim, but I still didn’t believe what they were saying. An Island getaway for free? It didn’t make sense logistically, and it was too convenient of an offer to be anything other than wishful thinking.
“We are absolutely serious, although I understand why you might have thought we were joking. We’ve gotten that a lot today.” Timmy’s smile fractured just for a moment and I fully understood what kind of day these two have had. Jealousy welled up in my heart for how well this kid was handling the whole ordeal. “We have one more seat to fill, and we can take off. Is this something you’re interested in?”
I paused. This was exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for, it was beyond anything I could hope for and I wanted so desperately to say yes, but cynicism’s a hard drug to kick, and although every part of me wanted this to be real I knew there was no way life was this convenient. No way in hell the world beats the shit out of me for years only to offer the perfect escape right as I’ve given up. Karma isn’t real, and the universe doesn’t owe me anything and this, just like everything else too good to be true was a scam or a hoax, they were trying to rob me, or steal my stuff, or kidnap me… That last one seems the most likely since it’s a free flight. What kind of idiot boards a plane to somewhere they don’t even know, marketed as a deserted island, with complete strangers, without paying a single dime? I have no doubt in my mind why everyone else in this airport refused the offer. It’s absolute insanity to even consider the possibility.
“If you can tell me why I get to do this for free, I’ll sign up.” I’m officially insane. The words came out of my mouth without me really thinking about it, every fragment of logic left in my brain was telling me to walk away, but all in all, this is exactly what I had come here looking for. A fresh start, a new place, new people, somewhere for me to grow and become someone worth caring for, or about. Somone people won’t be ashamed of. Someone I won’t be ashamed of. Timmy, completely unfazed my inner monologue jumps into a sales pitch he clearly had prepared for the day. He spoke about how the island was truly deserted, how part of my duty would be to clean up, replant trees, de-weed the area, move rocks, I would have to rely on fishing and whatever natural foods the island provided to survive. It honestly wasn’t a good sales pitch, it described a hard life, without being able to contact friends or family for an unknown amount of time. It was a life people in my generation had only heard about, the type of life settlers had as they made their way west across thousands of miles of natural woodland to steal the land and establish civilization. My thoughts started to wander to the Donner party and their gruesome fate, or more recently those cult members in Gayana settling Jonestown desperately trying to untangle a dense jungle that didn’t want them there. My brain was still trying to picturing the Tom Nook I remembered from all the real-estate ads merged with Jim Jones when I realized Timmy wasn’t talking anymore.
“What do you think sir? Is that enough of an explanation to convince you?” Tommy echoed his brother while Timmy gave me a brilliant smile devoid of any sense of malice. In my head, I knew how difficult it would be to know if he was a genuine sociopath or not but my gut told me these two kids were just genuinely trying to convince me to come with them. They were trying to tell me they wanted me to come not because it would be good for them but because they truly thought it would be good for me. It’s a strange feeling, to be needed.
“I..” I paused and settled my nerve. Truth be told, even if it was a cult, or some sort of nefarious plan to kidnap me, whatever it is my life as it is right now is spiraling downwards, and it has been for a while. I might be throwing my life away but if I’m being honest with myself, it wasn’t much of a life to begin with. Why am I so afraid of change? Of taking a chance and moving to something new when the way my life was before wasn’t even worth conserving. I swallowed hard.
“I’ll do it, sure. Sign me up.” As soon as the words left my mouth I felt a weight drop away from me. It was like I was carrying a mountain on my back I hadn’t even noticed was there until it suddenly turned to water and flooded me. It left me heavy with a lingering weight, but that weight wasn’t nearly as heavy and it was a weight I knew wouldn’t last forever. All of the stress of my life, not having a job, not having a partner, shitty roommates and estranged parents, all of it melted away as I decided to throw the scraps of my old life away and start completely fresh. All the baggage I’d built up over the past two and a half decades faded like smoke in the wind and I felt lighter, I breathed in and the air tasted sweeter, the world seemed sharper somehow. This was my new beginning. Timmy’s smile grew wider, and Tommy gave me a shy look of appreciation and I signed the papers. The sheet covered most of what Timmy had already told me, but I wasn’t really paying attention to the details, I signed where he told me to and I handed him the sheet almost on autopilot. My mind was already wandering far away from the airport, trying to imagine what my life will be like settling a deserted island, what kinds of people I’m going to be living with, what sort of life I’m going to build out in the middle of the sea.
“Thank you...” Timmy looks down to check the sheet “Deryk? Or would you prefer Mr. Fellman?”
My mind flashed through all the outcomes I could imagine on this deserted island, every type of opportunity and hardship I’m going to face, all the new people I’m going to meet. As all these images flashed behind my eyes I felt myself understand something deep in my soul, Deryk Fellman died when he signed that sheet. Deryk wouldn’t go settle a deserted island, Deryk didn’t have the confidence or energy or strength to take control of his life like this. I thought of all the days spent on the couch, all the nights spent on the computer, all the mornings pulling the curtains to avoid seeing the sun. Deryk couldn’t do something like this, and even though Deryk Fellman was the one who took the bus to the airport, he wasn’t the one who was going to be flying out.
“Actually… Call me Faith... just Faith”